


Round Two

by fromthebeginningthen



Series: In Every Universe [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Amusement Parks, Arcades, Crack, Dancing, Homophobic Language, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Mario Kart, Sexual Tension, Showers, Wrote this bih while drunk, but only for like two words, oh my i should not have tagged this while drunk, sherlock and hon are in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-04-29 10:16:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14470494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fromthebeginningthen/pseuds/fromthebeginningthen
Summary: People gave me the most random and obscure prompts they could for Johnlock crack and boy did my drunk ass deliver! Y'all gave me two crack sex prompts right off the bat, so I'm saving those for the later chapters. I need to be more drunk for those, gotta work my way to them. **Update** I didn't write explicit sex, I wasn't able to bring myself to do it.





	1. Mayrio Kert

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The prompt was "Mario kart au" so there was a lot of liberty and I decided it meant Sherlock and John are literally in the game.

All the usual suspects were playing an nice roudn of go  PEach righWHAT FUTKCkart racing. Bowser whizzed mby ans d nkncoked

 

**Starting over. I took another shot in the middle ofn that becuase I thiought ther ewere entierly too many not typos.**

 

A;ll the usual suspects were playign go katrts when Boweser whizzewd by and knocked Peack the FUCK off her kart. She whirled through the arie and landed head first into a chomper plant. What the fulc are thaey called? red ass mother fuscker andywa. Her spinal cord snapped and not in the twitter lingo good way. She died instantly, thought no one say saw(_)'_*** what hpappend. Ypo grammarly is yellign at me Im' boutta install int for this fic. INintstall. /UNinstall

YUoiu know I'm thinknign abohtehr shot wasn't the bst Idea/,.

SHerlock i s called by Lakitu to come and sovle the corime. (I had to google the name shut uo you don't know it either.) 

SHerlock and Jhon arrice on secen. "Details."

In a high pitched lil bitch baby fboice Lakitu sayid, "Everyone crossed thie finish line exceot PEach. PLease help ius find her kiler so he cn bte disqualified form the race."

"He?"

"I just assume because murdres are syusally maen cause they nastie."

"Accurate. Take me tio the scene."

**(Ya;ll would hate me if I kept EVERY typo, I am editing so many out just os itls readbale."))**

**SHerlock and Hon show u on scennnnnnnnnnnnnnne. OH my I amsdg too df**

 

 

 

**Im too drunk for thisi  i will set a timrer so my body can process some of the alcohol and then I can rwritee this. ?ITS Just too mcyhmuch and I'm sorry.**

 

 Sherlock and JOihn wal k uo and asee Peach layinf on the ground covered in blood. Sherloc deduces that Bowser knocked her the fuck out iwith his thorny vokcock because wounds. Also my friend tod me that as a joke buy /I made it lietral.

**(day 2 of truing i'm at a much more acceptbale level of durnk()**

Listen, when I sasi d horny cock I meant that bowser didn't literally do this because htat woul dbe too much for a me fic. Like my fics aren't that explicit okay.

 

Anyway, They observe the scene and Sherlock collects evidence. It's some green flecks and he's not sure what it means yet. Sherlock and John bring these flecks to the morgue and test them and fisa no HOLY SHIT MY HAMSTER. What a fucking idiot she's drinking from her water bottle like she ain't never done this before what a fucking loser. Anyway.

Sherlokck takes the flecks out of the evidence bag with tweezers and sets then on a petri dish. Unsure what they are, he suspends them in a general distelled watwers solution. He separates scales out (that much he can tell, they are scales) so he can test different things on them.

John asks. "Wghat did you find?"

"THey're scales."

"Then they're from a reptile." John replies.

Sherlock freezes, looks up and goes "OH" with his orgasm face. "John you're brilliant!"

John goes uwu and Sherlock starts researching different types of scale cells. He discovers that only one species has green scales of this make up, howber multuple racers are a aprt of this species.

"We need to interbiew the two green turtles from the race."

John sayss, "I;ll let Lakitu know, he should hace them sent to the winner's circle at Peach's castile."

"Isn't that a bit insensitive?  
"Oh shit you right. Well, it wasn't our idea so."

And so it goes.

~~~~~

Sherlock and John arrive at the windner's cricle and see Koopa Troppa, Iggy, and Bowserm lined up wiht police makring sure they stay in place. Sherlock takes a scaple and scrapes a few scales from each turtle and puts them in individual evidence bags to take back to the lab.

"This will take no more than a minute."

So lkitu holds them there while sHerlock and John go abck to teh lab and compare the sizes. Sherlock says "AH-HAH" out loud and they go back to the suspects.

Sherlock parades back in forth in front of them for a hot minute before John iterrupts ans says "that's enough, drama queen."

SHerlocl rolls his eyes at him and faces the green bitches. "OUt of my entire analysis only one of you had scales large enough to match the ones found on Peaches' body."

He pause dfor dramatic effect.

:"Bowser. YOur scales are literalyl two inches wide larger than anyone ellses. Get fucked."

Lakitu and everyone else gaspe. 

Bowser's big ass greeny ass turtley ass body rtried running to get to the river surrounding the castle, but then Rosalitea drifted down from the heacens and magicked his ass. Causing him to float back to Sherlock and John and therefore into custody. 

They used handcuffs and bob-ombs to ensure he wouldn't run again.

~~~~~

 

Back at baker STreet, Sherlock and John are chilling like not billains. John walks ober to Sherlock who's sipping tea near the sink in the kitchen.

"SO, you deduced the killer." He says while trailing fingers from sherlock's wrist up to his shoulder.

"Yes, as always." THough sherlock's REsponse included a hitch in his voice.

 John smirks and steps closer, face mere centimeters from sHERlock. "IT could make a woman wet."

Sherlock scolwed. "That's literally the most disgusting thing I ahve evber hear din my life John.:"

John finally caved and saterated laughing his fucking ass off. "I know I know, you should have seen your gay ass face."

Sherlock went :(

"What I mwnat was, you solvin gcases makes me aroused."

Sherlock swooned and almost fell when his knees buckeld.

Thankfully John caught him about the waste and draged him to the downstairs bedroom, now know as  _tehier_ bedroom.

 

THE END>


	2. What Does the D in DDR Stand For?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock is the DDR champion at an arcade and John works there during the summer.

John looks up once more at the :"ohhs" and "ahhs" coming from a part fo the arcade located 20 feet forward and 10 feet to the right of th ecash register. He work sa s both the cashier and cook, becuase of course he does. It's a shitty arcade center, they don't have many people working at once. So John often finds himself preparing shitty cafeteria food for patrons.

The beat of the DDR machine where the crowd is gathered pulls John from his thoughts once more. He looks over and sses one lanky boi o n the blue and pink arrowed flor hitting eahc beat with ease and grace. 

His skin was pale and he moved as a dancer would, flowing and without flaw (at least that the untrained eye could see). He almost always wore some form of crop top with tight fitting jeans or slacks. It made John's mouth water . The boy's ass was, while not exactly bislble, was plump and squeezable in his imagination. 

The crowd around him was mostly women, and two boys. Of course. Most people happened to be straight os it made sense that women would surround him in awe snad lust. Just hoping to het his number at the end of his run. John wondered who the males were. They didn't seem ofgle Sherlock like the others, just watch him with excitement.

 Todya the boy was set on fetting a 100% completion on Sandstorm by Darud3.e . To John it used to be a meme, but to him and all the audience, it was now a song that would play in astrip club. I mean they lefit nothing would make Sherlock look unsexy.

John was interrupted by some chick saying :"Can I ahve some fchips?

"Sure thing." He shook jhis head to remove it from the image of Sherlock's swaying hips.

~~~~~

 One day Joh nw as workign at the counter and heard form the usual station, :"BEt your fag ass can't do anything esle but dance lol."

John clenched his teeth and fists, immeditaely on edge. Even though he was the only one at the counter, he left his postion and marched over to the DDR machine.

There he saw the curly headed boy and some greasy haired, bug eyed frat boy staring at each other. John's crush wa s standing there trying to look indifferent but faililng , and the greasy guy was grinning like he just kicked somone's puppy.

"Hey." John said.

The taller boy jerked around to look at him while the other ='s smile wiltered slightly. "WHo're you?  
" the idiot said.

"Jo0hn watson, his  _boyfriend_." John said as he moved closer to Sherlock and held a protective postion slightly in front onf him, blocking the bullly's view.

"OH, so you are a fag."

"Get a new insult asshole, it's 2018. get the fuck out of here befoer I call secuoirty."

At this, the gresasy guy, moriaryt, gto scared at Joh'n's face and obvious muscle mass and left without another worsd.

John closed his eyes and sighed. He couldn't believe people were still doing this but at thes ame time he coud. He turned to the object of his fantasies and said, "Srorry if I played int things, I just...I didn't want assholes like him thinking that was a bad thing. Cause i'ts not. TO be gay, that is."

: Iknw it's not." Sherlock said and stared at him, eyebrows furrowed, ytuiogn to understand what Kohn's intentions were.

"OKay. UH.....You're really good at this game and it's really cool to watch and I'm going back to m post now bye.":

John left swiftly, not weanting to see Sherlock's reaction in case it was embarrasing.

He purposey kept himsefl from looking at Sherlock the rest of the night, so he missed Sherlock starign after him in awe and fondeness. 

Sherlokc though t wow, this boy defended him and was obviously not striahtgt. No straight person would do that. PRobably. It took him  a while to start playing again, but even then he only tried one song one more time before going home form the day.

~~~~~

An entire werek where Sherlcok didn't show up happened, and John was concerned,.  IT wasn't lilke this boy and he worried itwas because of his actions with the bully or because of the bully himself. But soon enough Sherlock did come back.

This time he keyed u[ the song I bet YOU Loook Good On The Dance Floor by ARctive Moknekts , and before he hit play, he inserted coins into the second player slot.

John, who was ovf course s[ying, was confused.

Sherlock turned around and stared directly at him then curled his fingers in a beckoning motion.

John rounded his stand likea man possesed, willing to be fired for this moment, and made his way to where Sherlock was.

SHerlock said, "Join me."

"Only if I know your name/"

"Sherlock."

"COol, I'm John."

"/Cool'" Though it was clear Sherlock was just imitating what John said.

The song began and the two followed the arrowed beat.s Sherlock was beteer obviously but John tried his best. They kept going, John being seduced more and more by Sherlock and and Sherlock seduced more and more by John's charming inability to dance. 

Once the song was done, both were panting as if from a different activity and met each other's etyes. 

John said, :"Wanna get out of here?  
"

Sherlock suddneloy looked insecure, "Don't you have to work?"

John stepped into his personal space and said ,"Not anymore, I'm done for the summer." Then he leaned foreard mere milimeters form Sherlock's lips. He gave Sherlock enough time to pull away (he didn't) so John closed the distance and they stood there, only lips moving. 

When they pulled away they looke at each ohter in awe, wonderng if the other felt the sparks, though they could tell once they obsered the stars in the others' eyse. 

They left the arcade hand in hand, never to be aprat again.

The end.


	3. Shower Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt was character A falls into the shower while character B is showering.

**I should really ahve written the summaries while sober because I wroit e them while drunk and I had to be veroy vcareful to corretct typos. Anyway.**

John got home and stepped in tho sheower as usal. WHenever he got back form th e clinic he wanted to wash off the smell of antispect. He stripped sodwn and got in, turnign the nozzle to hot, but not scalding. 

Sherlock was alspepe when JOhn got in bout woke when he heard the door shitu. HE woke with a full bladdaer nad stalekd to the bathroom door that led to his room.

The door was frosted fflass, but since John was in the shower theres was nothign to see besides the vagues dark shape of clothe ing on the flor. 

Shelrokc swithced hi s weight from one foot to the other, an adult bersion of the potty dance. He gave himself a split second to think : fuck it: befoer opening the door and walking in.

John heard the door ipen and called oaiut, :"HEy!"

SHerlock merely said , :"I have to urinatte." Before pulling his trousers and pants down ans doing just so.

John portested iansd pulled the edge oig the shower current back to yekk att sherlock adn saw hs dick out pisis flowing. The urine isn't what rturend him on but th e dick did.

John gasped audibly ansd Sherlock jerked his head towards him as he finished. He saw john peekign his head aorund the edge of the shower curtian and they held each other's gaze for a minute.

 SHerlock tired quickly tucnking himsefl away when he simultaneouesly took a step away from the tub and over his trousers, falling starhg t intot he shower wall.

John yelped and surged forwards to catch him about the wasite . 

Sherlock took a mental inventroy of his position. He was leaning agaisnt John's chest, wrappe dinn his arms, and frese of his trousers and pants whic fell compelte ly off in the scuffle.

HE laened his hands on John's chest and looke dhim in the etse nad said, "Sorry  , I'll be on my eay.:

He try ied puling away but John held him closerd still. :"Np, you're wiht me now."

Sherloskc stared at him in awe and then John pushed down his trosuers and pants the rest of the wat and tuggetd his wrists so he'd be pulled in to the shower if he so please.d 

He did please. and he entered the shower face to facte, chest to chest, hip to hip, feet to feet, with John. 

:"I've wanted you like thi s for a while." John said.

SHerlokc replied," I'm just anothesr conquest right>: and tried stppeong out but Jhn grapepd. him.

"No, not at all. You're my faborite person." Then John puled him closek, cradling his head and lower back then pressed a gentle kiss to his lips.

Sherlock responded in kind and relasexed that yes, John did want him in this way an edvery way he want him. 

They spent a nice long, hot shower pressed to each other and getting off. They'd talk more about feelings once they got to bed that night. 

Regardless, by the end of the night ehy'sd discovered that the other wanted more and they had arfgreed to bein a committed realationship.

"OIlove you," Sherlock sadi adgiasnt John's collarbone.

""I love you too," said John agianst Sherlocks' curls. 

They couldnt be separated by ant force.

 

THen end

.

 


	4. The Tunnel of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt was that Sherlock and John have sex on an amusement park ride, wowee wubbzy my first sex scene.

**I'll have you know I had to do researhc on this fic just to figure out if fairs existed in tLonodn. In the US I'd ust say state fair bnut No you have only cities.**

 Sherlock and Joihn went off to Sussex to go to a county fiar. Sherlock's parents had tickets and had to conacel, s they gave them to Sherlock instead. 

The two boys arrived and JHohn went to get ride tickeys for them.

They'd jsut recently gotten toghet So John though t they should go on the tunnel of love, the ride with the swans seats, boat things. Sherlock onceded because he loves John and HOn was happy because of it.

The seat on the three dimensional swan was narrow and had them pressed together. The only problem this caused was that now they had sexual tension. ( I looked away for that whole lin3 and typer is t perfectly so drunk alex is GREAT at typing confirmed.P

Once inside the unntyle. everyheitn was black and ark. I've never been inside onw so i have noidea how they look. 

 The walls were slightely lit up to show hearts and flowers and shit. Sherlock and Hohbn oooekd at each other then started making ot. They don't have time for this shit, y=they just wanted an excuse to kiss on a ride.

Their kissing got really heated, and tey realized they didn't ahve enough time fbefore they fot off the ride to  _get off_. To accomofadsyt for this they jumped fof the swan into the shallow wat er and went to a maintenace room just off to the side. 

There the yremoved their cl0thes and had sex. John was on top as per usual (they both rtried both ways, but sherlock prefers bottoms ing so .) and had sex. The mpst important part is that they kepyt hisperinf "I love oyu I love you." diring it.

MEanwhile the worker at the ride notice dthe two of them hadn't come out in their swan cart so he sent securoy to look for the.. Sexuroit forund them an d kicked them out fo the faor. 

Sherlock and hon looked at each othwer outside the fair fourns and Hon said, :"We;;, this is one for the sooks."

Sherlock lokked ayt him, forwned , then said :"That's not a pun in the slightest."

"Yeah but it's funny."

Sherlock just narrowed his eyes even more.

"Swan combinied with books you know?  
"

"I know. Still incredibly unfunny."

Jphn rolled his eyes and wrpapped his arm around sherlock's back. :'You won't say that later in bed tonight."

  
"Yes I will."

"Not if i withold sex unless you tell me I'm funny."

Sherlock was upstaged." Fine, you are the most hilarious humna in existence."

"that's what I thioght?."

John pulled Sherlock in for a nice snohg before they made their way to the steret for a cab.

tHe end.


End file.
